New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
