Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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