Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
