new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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