I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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