You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
