I skipped work to stalk him.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
