I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
