Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
