im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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