glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize