:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
