His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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