Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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