no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
