Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
