she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize