You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
