I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
