If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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