it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
