And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
