why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
