Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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