I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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