I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
