it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
