He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
