I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
