doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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