I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize