She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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