I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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