I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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