wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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