Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
