apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
