he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
foreskin is a definite game changer
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
