You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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