I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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