Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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