What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
