i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The adults are the big ones right?
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