My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This is my gift to your gina
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
