but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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