come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
