carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
