I'm gonna have a badass scar
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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