super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
pop tarts are not kleenex
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize