her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
