He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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