Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
