How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
