He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
