So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
