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My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
