please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
4 words: hood of his car
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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