put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I believe in your delicious
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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