He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
